this is a pic of a broken pathfinder part

Spring Break

My daughter just finished her spring break. She had a nice retreat from school and her busy schedule. She has become very good at giving reports on her day and what she reads or views. She is months ahead of the other kids in her school in math, and would probably do math all day if they let her. We are making plans for summer break, which she is excited about. If all goes as planned she will be in a social skills group and a kids quest group. busy busy busy!

Special Olympics

The big news is that my daughter is back in Special Olympics gymnastics. This was a bit problematic as she has a condition called horse shoe kidney. To sum it up she has one kidney which is lower in her body. If she ever falls on it, we need to rush her to the emergency room. So, she has a spotter, who will make sure she does not fall on her back. Sort of like if she has a ceramic statue in her back pocket and if it breaks my world ends.
Special Olympics is really great, and I highly recommend supporting them. I suppose my only quip is that in my area they seem better organized in the south end of town and seem to offer less in the central areas. The volunteers are the most dedicated and patient people I have met. It makes me think about the way people seem to need people and how helping each other makes life meaningful.

Advice for parents with new diagnosis

If you have a child that has just been diagnosed with autism, or a child that has just been born with birth defects, my advice to you is this: Have faith.

Have faith in yourself, for you will be amazing yourself with your capacity to learn, to grow, to care for your child.

Have faith in others, for you will be needing the help of therapists, doctors, teachers, friends and family. There are so many people who care about you and your child deeply. Seek them and you will find a world of compassion and commitment.

Have faith that what ever force created a world that can have so much struggle and pain has the capacity to bring joy and peace to you and your child.

I also recommend listening to Bob Marley's song Three Birds as often as possible.

Movie recomendation

I have to recommend LARS AND THE REAL GIRL. It is a pleasure to watch, with pleasant cinematography and powerful acting, but the story has more emotional depth than anything I have seen since Little Miss Sunshine. The setting for the story is a small northern town and to my surprise and delight the people of the town are supportive, open minded and warm. Lars is at an emotional epoch and has the delusion that his mail order life size doll is real. What could easily become a sleazy flick with gross out humor is instead a heartwarming and wrenching portrait of emotional paralysis, and the struggle to heal.
I found the portrayal of Christianity in this movie to be unusually hopeful, positive, and endearing. The Pastor at the Lutheran Church gives a sermon reminding his parishioners that the only rule we need to be Christians is to Love one and other. The Church is accepting of Lars and his "girlfriend" and even values the lessons she can teach. In the age of Mega churches with Ted Haggard mega hypocrisies, it is so refreshing to hear a pastor with sweet words.

Gluten Free!

Today we celebrate a week of freedom from gluten. Has it changed my daughter? Well, she is still the most awesome kid on earth, and maybe a little more eye contact. By the way, eye contact is hard for people with autism. Its hard for everybody really, especially if you are nervous, or the person you are interacting with has a deep stare.
I recommend practicing eye contact with a Labrador Retriever. They have big nice eyes and a gentle stare. Ok, when you meet any dog you should look at their cheek, so they do not feel threatened. With human contact however, you should give little pauses in eye contact, sort of like little comas. This prevents the awkward problem of eye contact where people's souls recognize each other in a profound metaphysical way that leads to an understanding that we are all one people with a shared destiny. This can lead to uncontrolled sobbing, enlightenment, prolonged hugging, and groceries thawing out in your cart as you try to regain your composure. Oh yeah, mirrored sunglasses are an easy solution too.
But back on the gluten free topic, after years of therapy to get Kaley from 2 foods to a healthy diet of hundreds, it feels a bit odd to be limiting her food. Luckily,(sort of) my wife Christine has been gluten free for a year, so we have had a lot of practice! Thanks Christy!

JOY!

So what have I learned from my daughter? Oh, so many many things. From the temperature in Fairbanks Alaska on winter solstice to the ramifications of the food pyramid, she has made me aware of many things. And then there are all the therapies and medical terms and treatments.

The most profound lesson my daughter has taught me is that our capacity for joy is endless. From the mundane act of folding laundry to the profound experience of swimming in the ocean, the opportunity to feel joy is always around. Even in the worst of times, sitting by her bed in a hospital, there were moments when I was able to appreciate the love of strangers who gave their all to take care of her. The support of family and friends brought so much comfort.

When we took a jet to Kauai, we hit some turbulence. My daughter Kaley smiled and laughed while the adults around her clinched there arms rests. Her laughter lightened the mood for everyone around her. That joy of life is always so ready to come out and shine on us.