Advice for parents with new diagnosis

If you have a child that has just been diagnosed with autism, or a child that has just been born with birth defects, my advice to you is this: Have faith.

Have faith in yourself, for you will be amazing yourself with your capacity to learn, to grow, to care for your child.

Have faith in others, for you will be needing the help of therapists, doctors, teachers, friends and family. There are so many people who care about you and your child deeply. Seek them and you will find a world of compassion and commitment.

Have faith that what ever force created a world that can have so much struggle and pain has the capacity to bring joy and peace to you and your child.

I also recommend listening to Bob Marley's song Three Birds as often as possible.

Movie recomendation

I have to recommend LARS AND THE REAL GIRL. It is a pleasure to watch, with pleasant cinematography and powerful acting, but the story has more emotional depth than anything I have seen since Little Miss Sunshine. The setting for the story is a small northern town and to my surprise and delight the people of the town are supportive, open minded and warm. Lars is at an emotional epoch and has the delusion that his mail order life size doll is real. What could easily become a sleazy flick with gross out humor is instead a heartwarming and wrenching portrait of emotional paralysis, and the struggle to heal.
I found the portrayal of Christianity in this movie to be unusually hopeful, positive, and endearing. The Pastor at the Lutheran Church gives a sermon reminding his parishioners that the only rule we need to be Christians is to Love one and other. The Church is accepting of Lars and his "girlfriend" and even values the lessons she can teach. In the age of Mega churches with Ted Haggard mega hypocrisies, it is so refreshing to hear a pastor with sweet words.

Gluten Free!

Today we celebrate a week of freedom from gluten. Has it changed my daughter? Well, she is still the most awesome kid on earth, and maybe a little more eye contact. By the way, eye contact is hard for people with autism. Its hard for everybody really, especially if you are nervous, or the person you are interacting with has a deep stare.
I recommend practicing eye contact with a Labrador Retriever. They have big nice eyes and a gentle stare. Ok, when you meet any dog you should look at their cheek, so they do not feel threatened. With human contact however, you should give little pauses in eye contact, sort of like little comas. This prevents the awkward problem of eye contact where people's souls recognize each other in a profound metaphysical way that leads to an understanding that we are all one people with a shared destiny. This can lead to uncontrolled sobbing, enlightenment, prolonged hugging, and groceries thawing out in your cart as you try to regain your composure. Oh yeah, mirrored sunglasses are an easy solution too.
But back on the gluten free topic, after years of therapy to get Kaley from 2 foods to a healthy diet of hundreds, it feels a bit odd to be limiting her food. Luckily,(sort of) my wife Christine has been gluten free for a year, so we have had a lot of practice! Thanks Christy!

JOY!

So what have I learned from my daughter? Oh, so many many things. From the temperature in Fairbanks Alaska on winter solstice to the ramifications of the food pyramid, she has made me aware of many things. And then there are all the therapies and medical terms and treatments.

The most profound lesson my daughter has taught me is that our capacity for joy is endless. From the mundane act of folding laundry to the profound experience of swimming in the ocean, the opportunity to feel joy is always around. Even in the worst of times, sitting by her bed in a hospital, there were moments when I was able to appreciate the love of strangers who gave their all to take care of her. The support of family and friends brought so much comfort.

When we took a jet to Kauai, we hit some turbulence. My daughter Kaley smiled and laughed while the adults around her clinched there arms rests. Her laughter lightened the mood for everyone around her. That joy of life is always so ready to come out and shine on us.

Mcarthyism? no that too harsh,

Just read a little from Jenny McCarthy on Larry King.

I am so much smarter, wiser, well read and informed than her it astounds me. I suppose I am just glad that Paris Hilton did not have a child with autism, so she could make some sort of creative statement, perhaps a book or cd or movie. With her name on it! Hot!

But McCarthy is way into the cure autism camp. She is the poster woman. Sorry letches, she wears clothes now. And keeps her tongue in.

I do not wish to cure autism. I feel that we should do everything we can to eliminate environmental poisons that cause neurological disorders. The poisons that cause cancer and other disease too. Lets clean up our environment.

Lets do everything we can to help children and adults with the challenge of autism meet their potentials in our society. Lets Help them be what they want to be. If what they want to be does not resemble, oh lets say some perfectly loved pin up movie star celebrity, so be it.

By the way, if you know Jenny McCarthy, please give her my email, LETLOVEIN2@msn.com as I would really like to encourage her to make it to an autism convention, so that she could meet some of the wonderful and talented adults with autism and see their world. I did and it broadened my horizons a great deal. Plus I want to have her and her son and Jim Carry over for Thai food and talk about the campaign to free Burma.

post one

Hello and welcome to my special parent blog. My daughter has autism and I wish to share my experiences and offer any help and perspective I can. To use a metaphor, I have found that being a parent to a special needs child can be like being adrift on a life raft. Probably why Yan Martels Life of Pi is one of my favorite books. In my experience, life on the raft can be incredibly hard, and other times it can be like a carnival Cruise ship.
HEY! I just found out that Jenny McCarthy is on the ship. Well, cool, welcome and thanks! No, I am not thanking her for her early work with the fine periodical Playboy, rather for being public with her struggle for her son. And having cool hair she can flip while being charming. I hope that other parents of kids with autism who need to get diagnosed see her on the News, or OPRAH, and begin the journey to help their child.